By Abb Jones
The Reelness

Horror dominated this year’s 10 worst movies list, snagging half of the ten spots, although there also was room for a musical comedy, a ridiculous sci-fi/thriller, an action/thriller/comedy, a historical dramedy and even a comic book superhero movie. Without further delay, here are The Reelness’ 10 Worst Movies of 2022. Click the titles for our full reviews:

#10 Spirited (Grade: D+)

Whoever at Apple thought paying Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell $20 million each to star in this wretched Christmas musical should have been fired on the spot. Set up as a modernized riff on Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, it features unlikable non-singing characters belting out forgettable showtunes in cheesy production numbers more typical of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Awful.

#9 Amsterdam (Grade: D+)

Has David O. Russell lost his touch? The frequently Oscar-nominated director who brought us Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle and The Fighter tortured us with this nonsensical historical dramedy starring Christian Bale, Margot Robbie and John David Washington. Based on a real life WWI-era right-wing plot to overthrow the U.S government, the epically dull Amsterdam succeeded only in make us want to overthrow the movie studio that greenlit this tedious mess.

#8 They/Them (Grade: D+)

Counselors torturing LGBTQ+ kids at a horrid gay conversion therapy camp start getting knocked off in this tone deaf horror starring Kevin Bacon. It totally misses the mark, uncertain whether it wanted to be campy fun or serious horror. Instead it is neither.

#7 Bodies Bodies Bodies: (Grade: D+)

This intended satire of unlikable, cell phone addicted twentysomethings being knocked off one by one in a big mansion was neither scary nor funny. The only funny element that kept this uninspired horror/comedy from total failure was Shiva Baby’s Rachel Sennott as the oversharing, bubble-headed podcaster, Alice.

#6 Bullet Train (Grade: D)

This snoozefest of a train ride stars Brad Pitt as a reluctant hit man competing with other assassins on a high-speed train in Japan. The slapstick humor is weak and the ensemble cast seems to be competing to see who has the worst English accent. Hint: they all stink.

#5 Black Adam (Grade: D)

Leave it to DC Comics to create the most boring comic book superhero movie ever. Even the typically fun Dwayne Johnson looks pissed to be in this phoned-in collage of CGI, trite dialogue and feeble storytelling, which also includes an array of D-list superheroes from the Justice Society.

#4 Moonfall (Grade: D)

Egads – we learn the moon isn’t really a moon – AND ITS COMING FOR EARTH! – in this ridiculously awful sci-fi/thriller starring an always game Halle Berry, Patrick Wilson and John Bradford (that guy from Game of Thrones). This idiotic story isn’t even so bad it’s good. It’s just bad.

#3 Halloween Ends (Grade: D-)

Jamie Lee Curtis’ final appearance in the 42-year-old franchise ended with a big fat thud of disappointment, in this listless horror that treated serial killer Michael Myers like a forgotten piece of furniture until the film’s final 20 minutes. What a bummer way for Jamie Lee to end her franchise legacy. Longtime fans deserved way better than this.

#2 Firestarter (Grade: F)

This remake of the 1984 horror/thriller that starred Drew Barrymore is just ridiculously bad. There are no scares whatsoever in this Stephen King adaptation, just some unintentional laughs from Ryan Kiera Armstrong and Zac Efron as her dad. Burn it all down.

#1 Men (Grade: F)

To call this pretentious psychological horror bad is the understatement of the year. The nice woodsy cinematography in the dreadfully dull first half sets up a totally bonkers second half, as Jessie Buckley (The Lost Daughter, Wild Rose) is forced to endure nonsensical, shocking for the sake of shocking body horror that is meant to be symbolic of the toxicity of men. In reality Men is just a bloated, condescending mess written and directed by… shocker… a man. Hard pass.

Dishonorable mentions:

The Twin D+
Blonde C-
The Contractor C-
Ticket to Paradise C-
Luck C-
Morbius C-
The Gray Man C-

Here is The Reelness’ 10 Best Movies of 2022.